Joyful Minds, Open HeartsOvercoming Negativity Addiction

So this morning I woke up tired, and gauged my chemicals at 95% negative (new thing I’m doing gauging chemicals on a percentage scale) and I quickly realized I had to pull the quick one/two punch I talk about in the ONA program: 1. Change physiology 2. Change mental focus.

So I got out my “only positive talk” fairy wand. Whenever I or anyone around me is holding the fairy wand, we MUST speak in positive, loving talk. It’s a great vibe switch and it’s so cute and funny. It’s a little fairy princess one.

So I got in my car, to go for a run. Put on the radio and they were having a James Brown marathon and I started making up ridiculous funny songs with my own lyrics to go with the James Brown music and because you can’t really understand what he is saying, you really can get your words heard clearly. So I made up a song called “Happy Brain” and I just did it all like I was James Brown and by the end I was laughing SO HARD and so was my husband. Then I spoke positively to my husband, (changing mental focus) about what I loved about him and our dogs, and then went for a run and talked to myself during that whole thing too.

On the way home from my run, (while I was driving, safe? I don’t know) I used my fairy wand to play the “I love you game” to cars, street signs, people, houses, etc.

By the time I got home just now I was so high I am BEAMING and glowing.

I tell you all of this to ask you one question.

What if I hadn’t committed to vibe switch right when I woke up?

I know. I would have had a cruddy day.

I changed the course of my day by changing the biochemicals coursing through my body!!! Now on my “chemical gauge” I am at 100% positive chemicals. I love being the Inner Chemist that I am.

I wish you all…..

HAPPY BRAIN!!!!

Get on the Happy Brain Thought Train!!!

Love and Happy Biochemicals,
Denise

The more I practice the Overcoming Negativity Addiction Program, the more quickly it becomes apparent that the need to be right or win a debate or argument has to take a backseat to keeping my emotions stable and keeping my biochemicals clean by not indulging my emotional triggers.

The need to be right can create a lot of frustration and there is no place for those chemicals in my system.

So I’ve been practicing saying, “You may be right” to anyone who seems very staunch in their opinions and it brings so much relief to me.

And funnily enough, when I back off and don’t fight to be right,  the other person usually backs off too and realizes maybe we’re both right.

I can’t believe I would ever say this, but I am really starting to enjoy not being right!

Love and Happy Biochemicals,
Denise

Boy, did I ever have an eye opener today as far as my negativity addiction is concerned!

For the last few days, I had been “noticing” that my husband seemed to be kind of “negative” and, because it felt “uncomfortable to be around him” when he was “negative”, I had asked him to try to be more positive so as not to “mess up” my “happy vibrations”.

I put a lot of those words in quotes because what I was really doing was looking for an excuse to indulge my own negativity addiction by pointing fingers at how people around me are negative.

What a JOKE!

This “noticing others’ negativity” is a sometimes subtle (to others not so subtle) form of negativity addiction. The trigger is when our own minds are trained to look at how negative everyone around us is so we can indulge our own addictions rather than focusing on other peoples’ good qualities, which we could just as easily do if we weren’t indulging our addiction!

My poor husband, who was in a really good mood until I told him that he was being negative!

So I went on a run and said a little prayer to my Spirit Guide and I asked what I could do to “help” my husband to not be so “negative” and then received the cosmic kick in the a** I needed, which was:

Spirit Guide’s response:

“Love your husband.”

I thought, “No, what can I do?”

I received:

“Accept your husband as he is and love him.”

Surely, the Universe wasn’t understanding. HE was being negative.

Then I received this download (that I promptly updated on my facebook account so as not to forget):

Ever notice how the most negative people seem to be the ones who constantly complain that everyone around them is negative? That’s because we can just as easily choose to focus on one good quality in another person rather than dwelling on their “issues” and when we don’t, it’s because we’re in our own addiction to negativity.

There it was. My negativity addiction BUSTED again by my nonphysical friends!

So if you are someone who seems to be constantly surrounded by “negative people”, maybe take a second look and see how those people may be mirroring your own choice to focus on what’s wrong in another human being. Each human is both light and dark/positive-negative. There are no purely “negative people”. It is how we choose to look at them that creates our reality of them in our own body chemistry.

The antidote for me to judging someone else for being “negative” is threefold. Try one and see if works for you:

1. LOVE and SERVE them. When I get into love and service, most of the time they “miraculously” get more positive!
2. Hold the compassion note for them. If they are in their addiction to negativity, the last thing they need is for some chump to keep pointing it out to them in a judgemental way. Instead, I can just feel compassion for them.
3. NOTICE the ways that they are positive and how they lift you up. Make lists on post-it notes, or out loud during the day, of all the ways that person does lift your moods. I bet you will find you will be surprised by the positive/light aspects of that person when you start focusing on those aspects.

Remember, everybody is doing the best they can, including you. Don’t judge yourself for judging others. Instead, vibeswitch back into a happy feeling and move on until the next time you’re triggered!

Love and Happy Biochemicals,
Denise

Today I intend to use my main vibe switch as present moment awareness.

Whenever I get lost in any kind of thought and leave the present moment, I am going to become aware of my body sensations, sounds around me, my breath, my thoughts, and emotions, all from the observer perspective.

I am going to aim to spend at least 75% of my day today in my body, in my awareness of the present moment.

Right now, I hear the sounds of the computer keyboard clicking as I type “click, click, click”, and I hear the “hummm” of my computer and I hear my chihuahua snoring in the other room. Oh, and some birds just chirped outside. “Chirp” “Chirp”. I feel a little sleepy because I woke up really early, but I feel fresh and clean because I just took a shower. My hair is still a little wet and I can feel it on my neck…Ahhhh. (For those few seconds I was not lost in thought!)

There is a great Zen saying that instead of asking yourself “Why?” (Which gets you out of your body, into your head, lost in thought once again) it’s helpful to ask “What?” meaning, literally, what is going on around and inside of you?

Present moment vibe switch check in!!! All day today.

Today was wonderful because I found myself triggered by a certain person I am working with. This person, who has been so kind, warm, and wonderful but has definite opinions and ideas about what is right for this movie I am making.

My negativity addiction has been triggered over this person for a couple of weeks now, but I hadn’t noticed when I was triggered or that I was indulging for hours and hours, with anger, defensiveness, and an anxiety that this person is going to bulldoze my creative vision, etc. etc.

So the reason that today was great (and the past few days) is because I see that now I am noticing within sixty seconds of being triggered that it is happening and, because I am noticing, I then have a choice of whether to indulge the addiction with “indignation”, “self protection”, “creative integrity”, yadda yadda yadda or simply vibe switch as we do in the Overcoming Negativity Addiction program.

The revelation I had is that even though I love this film project with my life and feel deep loyalty to the story, etc., it is not worth indulging my addiction over, thus creating negative biochemicals in my system. So I can be open, stay calm, and not be attached to having my way in every situation. This person is presenting himself to me as a teacher and mentor, which I think is actually quite nice, but it doesn’t leave a lot of room for a sense of equality between us. I can be lovingly assertive, but at the same time allow him to be as he is, have compassion for the fact that maybe he has negativity addiction too and listen to what wisdom he has to offer.

I never in a million years thought I would value my own peace of mind and alignment over the story I am telling with this film, but I do.

This revelation opened up a lot of really powerful ideas that maybe my ego has been involved too and maybe I could open my mind a little more to this person’s ideas who has been in the business forever and has a lot of expertise with telling good stories.

I think in some ways I am learning the balance between letting go and surrendering and being lovingly assertive. Sometimes it’s tricky to see whcih one of these vibe switches actually feels better. I think that, ultimately, the vibe switch that feels the best in this circumstance is to let go, surrender, and trust that we all want to tell the best story, and the Universe has it handled as I get out of the way. I think the less ego I bring to this process, the happier I’ll be. Whether that makes the best movie or not is up to my Spiritual Guide, who wrote the script through me in the first place. It makes me feel good to say, “Letting go of my ego and going with the flow will create the best movie. All I have to do is let go and  trust, keep vibe switching, be loving and kind, and don’t make the project more important than the people.”

Oooh, I like that. “Don’t make the project more important than the people.”

This is so fitting because this entire movie is about Love!!!

Love and Happy Biochemicals,
Denise