Joyful Minds, Open HeartsOvercoming Negativity Addiction

Wow! So many revelations, “aha”s, downloads from Spirit, etc. going on for me this week (and for many others who are in the Overcoming Negativity Addiction Program–I think the more we clean up our biochemicals, the more able we are to tune into spiritual wisdom).

One of the biggies I have been tuning into this week is how many people are afraid of negativity. Some are so afraid of it, they are actually afraid to even say the word! I guess they fear that focusing on it will somehow attract more negativity into their lives.

Some people even change the name of the Overcoming Negativity Addiction program to  the “Joy Addiction” program, because they can’t get themselves to say the word “Negativity” or “Addiction”. It’s like they can’t admit to themselves that they’re biochemically addicted to feeling bad, so they try to sweep it under the carpet by giving it a prettier title, so it feels more positive to them.

It’s almost like people think negativity is like the swine flu or something!  They don’t want to even talk about it for fear they’ll catch it.  Or maybe it’s like in Harry Potter when everyone is so afraid of Voldemort that they can’t even say his name. They call him “He Who Must Not Be Named” which of course makes him even more ominous and evil! Except for Harry, who always calls him Voldemort, because that’s the guy’s name and he’s not afraid of him!

But when you take a closer look at this fear of negativity, you can see it is actually just more negativity addiction in disguise. Fearing anything, even negativity, is just another trigger that releases negative biochemicals into our systems.

Real freedom comes from loving everything, even our own negativity! When we see that the addiction itself is a blessing, a gift to help us to retrain our brains, rewire our neural pathways to joy, then we don’t fear even our own negativity anymore! Nothing hurts us, not even our own triggers.

I find it funny that the most “negatively” titled product I have from the joy shop is really the one that’s made me the happiest in my life and manifest the biggest stuff!  I think that so many people in the Law of Attraction communities have developed a fear of or a superstition about discussing anything that’s not super positive.

That’s okay, except that most of us are triggered throughout the day and if we don’t admit we have an addiction to indulging the negativity, our overall vibrations don’t really get clean and clear enough to send out the positive/powerful manifesting mojo signals to attract our big fabulous lives the way we want them.

The Universe is not responding to how positive we WANT to be beneath our forced happy smiles, but rather it is responding to how we’re really feeling (meaning what biochemicals are really being squirted into our bloodstream).

Have you ever been around someone who was all smiles but you got a really uncomfortable feeling when you were around them, like deep down you felt they might be angry or sad or something?

I know I have because back when I was afraid of negativity, I was one of those people.

Conversely, have you ever been around someone who was admitting they were having a difficulty, or maybe even grieving, and you felt good being around them, like their authenticity was a good thing that was helping them and you to heal deeply? That’s because they were actually releasing negativity in that moment by being honest or letting go of sadness, etc.

See, a manic need to be positive is really fear dressed up as happiness. And most fear is negativity addiction. It’s somewhat of a paradox.

Our triggers are unique to us, and so are our vibe switches (what truly makes us feel better). So saying “Just be positive” as some generic vibe switch to help people feel better doesn’t convince our emotional biochemicals to be happy. It only convinces our brains that we WANT to be happy.

We WANT to be positive. We’re smiling, but we’re not “feeling it”. As a trained actor, I have had this happen several times. I’m speaking my characters lines, but I’m not feeling it. To “really get into character” means I have to convince my body’s emotional biochemicals to really feel it.

The paradox is that sometimes what actually makes a person feel better biochemically is to throw themselves a pity party and give themselves permission to cry. (That said, for another person, pity wouldn’t make them feel better. Your vibe switches are totally unique to you!)

Many in the Law of Attraction community might say, “NO. Never pity yourself. That’s a low vibration and might attract bad, yadda yadda, yadda”. But can’t you just feel the fear in that kind of statement? Which is really, yep, negativity addiction!

Maybe someone throwing themselves a pity part actually triggers a soothing feeling, which means happier biochemicals. For anyone else to tell them what vibe switch is going to make their biochemicals get all warm and fuzzy again is the other person telling them how to feel (Which is also negativity addiction).

For someone else, standing up for themselves in a certain situation where they’ve never stood up for themselves feels better biochemically, but their “Positive” New Age friend tells them, “Don’t focus on what you don’t want. Let them off the hook, etc.” but that doesn’t feel good to you biochemically, so what “appears” positive on the outside may be wreaking inner biochemical havoc and unconsciously indulging your negativity addiction!

At the end of the day, only you know what your triggers are and what will make you genuinely feel better. And one of the most healing things you can do for yourself is come out of the “negativity closet” and admit that you too have the addiction to dwelling on things that make you feel bad, worry, etc. and that as you become honest about the addiction, you can literally rewire and rebuild your brain, creating a TRUE joy addiction where happy chemicals are released automatically.

But remember, without admitting to a negativity addiction and working on remolding our brains, we don’t stand a chance of having a real genuine joy addiction, because the process of retraining/rewiring our brains is one where we admit we’re triggered into negativity and then vibe switch it in ways that feel good to us.

If we won’t even take the first step of admitting we’re caught in the negativity addiction or triggered, what chance to we have of rewiring the brain?

Trying to skip past the brain reconditioning part is like announcing that we’ve decided we’re going to be in perfect physical shape now, without exercise or eating right, because we’re afraid of sweat and salads.

You want a joy addiction? You want to be able to call yourself a Joy Addict? First admit you’re a negativity addict. Then, go look for those triggers to recondition your brain and  your biochemicals into joy. Be proud of your negativity addiction!! It’s the ticket to emotional freedom!

Because of how much awareness I have now of what triggers me and how to be happy in all situations, I can honestly say my negativity addiction is the best thing that ever happened to me! Admitting my addiction has made me genuinely (meaning biochemically) happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life!

Now I’m one of those people who smiles a heartfelt smile, cries real tears, and loves myself and others unconditionally, always vibe switching to what genuinely makes me feel better, not what appears “positive” to others, not even what is “spiritually correct”. But the good news is that the happier I get from selfishly focusing on what are my unique ways to feel better, the more loving I become to others, so it is a win/win.

Love and Happy Biochemicals,

Denise

Hi Loves,

Well, I am doing my ONA cleanse after a bit of being a bit sloppy with my eating and vibe switching, I am going hardcore into cleansing myself of my chemicals again!

I am going to keep a daily ONA journal journey and I actually got myself a hard copy of the 8 week ONA program!

So, here’s today’s entry:

October 4th, the day after my AMAZING birthday, 2009…

…Starting Over, day one – moment to moment awareness of vibe, thoughts, feelings, constantly checking in, needing to switch more quickly and becoming REALLY sensitive to my vibe minute to minute, hour to hour, am I keeping my chemicals clean?

The hilarious thing I do, but also so tragic, is think that outer world actions are somehow more important than what chemicals I’m spewing into my bloodstream and what vibe I’m sending.

Have you ever just powered through a bad mood?

It’s not really such a good idea. It goes something like this: “I’m in a bad mood, but I don’t have time to vibe switch, because I have to buy the groceries, etc.”

Are my chemicals clean?

Well, my definitive answer for the past two weeks of sloppy vibe switching has been, “NO they are not.”

I have lost my moment to moment sensitivity and awareness of my vibration because my manifesting is now happening on such a huge level, I tell myself things like, “I’ll work on my vibe later, this Oscar winning actress is on the phone, etc. etc.”

I told my husband today that I feel like I can tell when he’s in his negativity addiction and then tries to make his actions more important than vibe switching, but I haven’t been seeing it in myself and so it builds up.

The chemicals build up and up and up and then next thing you know, you’re grumpy again, pissy, whatever. And how much would I love to tell myself (and you) that if you vibe switched really well for a week last month, it still applies today, but it isn’t like that. Yes, it gets easier, but if you let the addiction back into your life on a regular basis, it’s no different than starting to smoke cigarettes again. Just because you quit last year for a month, doesn’t make you healthier when you take a drag today.

So I am starting this daily journal (blog) to help keep myself (and maybe inspire you) to be accountable to motivated, daily vibe switching.

So, here’s my question to myself: Since when is it okay to put up with negative emotions and cheimcal addiction?

It’s time to vibeswitch as soon as I feel the negative crappiness in any way shape or form. I do not have to tolerate negative emotions for more than 60 seconds, but I can feel real feelings that feel good, even if it’s sadness, or what have you, just not the chronic negative thinking/feeling cycle.

And to realize that NO action is more important than the moment to moment monitoring of my body’s biochemicals triggered by my thoughts.

Since I’ve been doing ONA alone, my biggest dreams are manifesting, so I know that’s all it takes to manifest is that moment to moment consistency, and what’s more? It makes me SUPREMELY happy.

I don’t have to feel guilty for getting a little sloppy. Maintenance is for life. This is a way of life for me now, a true lifestyle, and so what if I fall off the wagon here or there, I can get right back on. It’s so important to talk gently to myself when I do get sloppy with my vibe switching because the guilt and shame is just more neg addiction.

And, yes, my identity is shifting. Someone is no longer a “scared person”, but a really amazing calm wonderful person who happens to be triggered by anxious biochemicals once in awhile. That is a very different identity! To see that we are not our addiction, we are not our thoughts or biochemicals. We are the one who is choosing our thoughts, that’s a huge shift in our identities.

Also, I am learning to pick my words carefully because certain words can trigger specific chemicals in the body. When you say, “I am terrifed about such as such”, the word “terrified” sets off the biochemical alarm in your body and stress chemicals. What if you chose to say instead, ” I am stimulated about such and such “? Feel the difference in those triggered biochemicals?
So I am choosing my words much more carefully these days!

When we reactivate the stress chemicals and neg addiction, our bodies start swimming in these chemicals, just waiting to be triggered by anything so they can get their fix. That’s what free floating anxiety or free floating anger is, the chemicals are in there, and they’re just waiting for something to set them off. That’s why every time you feel angry, it gets easier and easier to get angry the next time, but when you’ve detoxed from the NA, it gets harder to access those negative chemicals because they aren’t already swimming around in  your bloodstream.

So what has been triggering me and what vibe switch antidotes are working for me?

A. Fear/anxiety..What iffing about the future…only wastes the present moment.

The vibe switches that have been working for me today are…

1. Empowered Action, knowing I have a way to feel empowered, that I can do something to change my future.
2. Present Moment Awareness- Really entering the moment, here and now, becoming aware of body sensations.
3. Holding the Love Note-Thinking of others. Oftentimes the best way to get out of fear is to Love others because you stop thinking about your own problems!
4. Soothing, gentle self talk, especially because I’ve noticed that, as a creative person, I can be quite dramatic in the way I describe things to myself and others! SOOTHE it down, be gentle about it, talk in self soothing ways, that always calms me down.
5. EFT-Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping. I tried it today and it REALLY suppresses and subdues negative chemicals of stress, especially when they are already activated in the body!! It’s like an Neg addiction band-aid!
6. Just being aware that it’s the addiction can often vibe switch me!

B. HURT FEELINGS or ANGER

1. Holding the Compassion Note for others. They are suffering too if they are hurting my feelings. If they are unloving it’s because they are suffering or not even thinking about my feelings, totally wrapped up in themselves which never feels that good. I swear, holding the compassion note is my go to vibeswitch whenever anyone else seems to hurt my feelings because I can so easily take a big picture view and see that they are struggling with their Neg Addiction too.

Wow! That felt good to be accountable and honest about my re-commitment to my ONA journey, day ONE!!!  I am so excited to check in daily on my blog! and in the forums.

Also, we’re going to be creating a pamphlet for leading ONA meetings in local groups soon, so if you want to get a local ONA meeting going, let us know at info@denisecoates.com.

Love to All, All is Love,
Denise